May 22, 2010

Hiding: Day 37

Since the "episode," I've been feeling utterly drained -- physically and psychologically. I slept almost all day today, and I've been fighting migraines since yesterday, too.

The stress is terrific. I can tolerate nothing. That's why sleep has been the only thing to do, to keep stimulation at a minimum. Self-prescribed bed rest.

I have felt a little more alert today. The morning was a blur on into the afternoon, but I was cognitive in the late afternoon until I slept again. Not in any kind of shape to DO anything, but at least hold up my end of a brief conversation.

And Rocky made me laugh. I don't remember what it was he said, but it was a relief to laugh.

When I woke up this evening, though, I had another fit of rage, because Priss was making herself a bowl of cereal for dinner. I yelled at Bunny and Moe, too, but don't remember why.

What disgusts me is that Priss is the one who came in here to hug me after I'd calmed down. Not to apologize, but because she pitied me and thought a hug might make me feel better. No one hates herself more than I hate myself.

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